Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
