so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am naked and annoyed.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
