okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
