1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
