The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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