I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
