They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
