also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
