Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
