he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
being pregnant is like rehab
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
