It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
