Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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