I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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