I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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