Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
