haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
