i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize