Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Im part way to drunk.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
