i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
