apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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