Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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