Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
do herpes really smell.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
