champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize