dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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