oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
