i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize