Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
