It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
