She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
