Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
