took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When did angry sex become our thing?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
