How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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