Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize