She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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