just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize