I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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