her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
