I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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