bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize