Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
