I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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