How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
