you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
