It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
