If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
