thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
