Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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