this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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