I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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