Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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