I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
