Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
