chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
