It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
