Where did you get a picture of my penis
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
