people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize