First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize