just tell him i said nine months
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
