cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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