he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
