DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
