What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
